Thursday, August 17, 2017

1990s Battle of the Network Stars Teams

A few weeks back, I did an article where I comprised teams of TV stars from current TV shows for Battle of The Network Stars, if the rebooted show had used actual stars from the biggest shows on television like the original version did.
After I finished writing that article, I got to thinking: What if Battle of the Network Stars had existed during the 1990s? What stars would I want to see?
Well, I decided to do that with BOTNS teams made up of stars from 1990s TV shows.
For this list, I took the three major networks that competed during the original(ABC, CBS,NBC) and added three more networks(FOX, WB, UPN) and picked five men and five women per network or team.
I tried to pick celebrities primarily on if they had any athletic background like playing sports in high school or a dancing background since you need to be in good shape to be a good dancer or just based on their star power during the '90s.
You'd get all that?
Well, here is my vision of what Battle of the Network Stars would have looked like in the 1990s.
ABC
Tim Allen(Captain), Home Improvement
While having no background in sports, Allen gets picked because Home Improvement was one of the biggest shows of the 1990s as it was one of the top 10 most watched shows every year during its eight season run(1991-99).
Plus, Allen could have been the Gabe Kaplan of the '90s in that a man with very little athleticism that could excel in the BOTNS competition.
Dean Cain, Lois & Clark
If there had been BOTNS in the '90s, there's no doubt that Cain would have lived up to his role as Superman on Lois & Clark and been one of the greatest athletes the show ever had as he was a two-time Division I-AA All American Defensive Back at Princeton University, where he intercepted 22 passes during his career, including a record 12 interceptions his senior season in 1987.
Ellen DeGeneres, Ellen
While she is known today for her daytime talk show, DeGeneres first entered the nation's consciousness with her self-titled sitcom that ran from 1994-98.
DeGeneres gets selected for the fact that she was a member of the Atlanta High School  varsity tennis team in Atlanta, Texas and often plays tennis with tennis stars or other guests on her talk show.
Kim Delaney, NYPD Blue
Before playing detective Diane Russell and Jimmy Smits' main squeeze on NYPD Blue, Delaney was a cheerleader at John W. Hallahan Catholic Girls High School in Philadelphia.
Plus, she grew up with four brothers so I'm sure she got into scuffles with them.
Debbe Dunning, Home Improvement
Heidi, the tool girl on Tool Time in the show Home Improvement, won the American Gladiators celebrity special during the show's seventh season, so BOTNS would have been a cinch for Dunning.
Jenna Elfman, Dharma & Greg

While she has no background in sports, Elfman gets the selection for the fact that she spent most of her youth learning ballet dancing and became a classically trained ballet dancer before injuries caused her to quit dancing at the age of 16.
Bill Fagerbakke, Coach
Fagerbakke was very much like his character "Dauber" on Coach, not that he was dumb, but that he was a former athlete as Fagerbakke played football and basketball plus ran track while at Minico High School in Rupert, Idaho before enrolling at the University of Idaho where he played defensive lineman for the Vandals during the 1976 season until a knee injury in the spring of 1977 ended his athletic career and steered him toward acting.
Teri Hatcher, Lois & Clark
Hatcher exploded into super-stardom with her role as Lois Lane on Lois & Clark, helping her land her role as a Bond girl in 1997's Tomorrow Never Dies and allowing for her to make a comeback during the 2000s drama Despearate Housewives.
But the reason Hatcher is selected for this team is like Elfman,Hatcher is a classically trained ballet dancer, taking lessons at the San Juan School of Dance in Los Altos, California and was a cheerleader for the San Francisco 49ers during the 1984 season where they went 18-1 and won the Super Bowl.
John Stamos, Full House
This pick is for the ladies as Stamos was one(and still is)of the sexiest male stars on TV at that time, so I'm sure the ladies would love to have the chance to see Uncle Jesse in a speedo or at least with his shirt off.
Jaleel White, Family Matters
While he didn't play sports at school due to his role at Steve Urkel, White often played basketball on the set with various stars from other TV shows such as George Clooney and even played in the 1991 MTV Rock & Jock Celebrity Basketball Game.
Plus, if would have been funny if ABC had lost an event and the broadcasters could go to White just for him to see "Did I do that?" in his Urkel voice.
CBS
Scott Baio, Diagnosis Murder
Baio competed in the original BOTNS six times, so it would have been interesting to see if Baio could maintain his dominance on the obstacle course like he did on the original version if BOTNS were around in the '90s.
Kyle Chandler, Early Edition
A decade before his more famous role as Dillion High School football coach Eric Taylor on NBC's Friday Night Lights, Chandler played Gary Hobson, a Chicago resident who received newspapers from the future and then tried to prevent tragic events on the drama Early Edition.
Anyway, Chandler gets picked because he was a former high school football player, as he helped George Walton Academy in Monroe, Georgia win the 1979 state championship.
Roma Downey, Touched By An Angel
Though she did not play sports as a youth and had only take some dance lessons in Irish dancing, Downey earns a slot because her show Touched By An Angel was one of the biggest shows for CBS during the '90s as it rated in the top 10 from 1996-2000 and somebody from that show needs be represented and as Downey was the lead, she makes the most logical choice.
Fran Drescher, The Nanny
Like Downey, Drescher gets picked because The Nanny was one of the few hits for CBS during the '90s even though Drescher had no history of playing sports or much of a dance background, though she did dance with John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.
Clarence Gilyard, Walker Texas Ranger
Gilyard did share a similarity with his character Jimmy Trivette, who was a Dallas Cowboy wide receiver turned lawman on Walker, Texas Ranger, as Gilyard played football at Sterling College in Sterling, Kansas as well as tennis as he received a tennis scholarship before ultimately giving up sports for his acting career.
Lauren Holly, Picket Fences
Holly was a cheerleader at Geneva High School in Geneva, New York years before her breakthrough role as Deputy Sheriff Maxine Stewart on the Emmy winning drama Picket Fences, so it would have been curious to see if those cheerleading skills Holly learned in high school could have translated to the athletic field of BOTNS.
Kelly Hu, Nash Bridges & Martial Law
Unlike some of the female competitors on the CBS team, Hu has somewhat of an athletic background as she holds a black belt in karate which she parlayed into her roles on Nash Bridges and the short-lived Martial Law.
Not bad for a former Miss Teen USA.
Costas Mandylor, Picket Fences
Lauren Holly's cohort on Picket Fences, Mandylor would have been one of the stronger athletes for CBS as he played professional soccer in Greece and Australia until a severe shin injury ended his soccer career.
However, Mandylor did not give up sports as he picked up boxing for a hobby to stay in shape.
Chuck Norris(Captain), Walker Texas Ranger
Do I ever have to explain why Chuck Norris is not picked but is also the captain for this hypothetical team?
Well for those who don't know, Norris was a former six-time world karate champion, holds a 10th degree black belt in Tang Soo Do and 8th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do(only one of three Americans to hold such a belt in Taekwondo) and fought Bruce Lee in the 1972 movie The Way of the Dragon.
Jane Seymour, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman
Like Roma Downey and Fran Drescher, Seymour gets picked primarily because her show, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, was a hit for CBS and not for lack of history of athletics, even though she participated in the February 1977 edition of BOTNS.
NBC
Jennifer Aniston, Friends
Aniston became a sensation in the '90s with her role as Rachel Green and her famous hairdo in the first few seasons.
But Aniston earns a spot because she has some, not a lot, background in athletics, as she played basketball and volleyball for two years while at the Rudolf Steiner School in New York City.
Plus, it would have been fun to see her hair get wet in the dunk tank despite the fact that she was a fear of being underwater.
George Clooney, ER
Arguably the sexiest male star on television during the '90s, Clooney would have been one of the best athletes to ever participate on BOTNS as he played baseball and basketball while he was at Augusta High School in Augusta, Kentucky.
Clooney even tried out for the Cincinnati Reds in 1977, but failed to make the team, though he maintained his love for sports participating in MTV Rock & Jock and often playing pickup basketball games on the set.
Courteney Cox, Friends
Cox might have been the most athletic member of the cast of Friends as she was a cheerleader as well as a member of both the swimming and tennis teams at Mountain Brook High School in Birmingham, Alabama.
Kristy McNichol, Empty Nest
McNichol competed on three editions of BOTNS(February and November 1977, November 1979) when she was a teenager so it would have been interesting to see how she would have fared as an adult.
Matthew Perry, Friends
Perry may have given Courtney Cox a run for her money as the most athletic cast member on Friends as Perry was an very good tennis player in his teens, so good that at one point he ranked 17th nationally in junior singles and third in doubles.
Perry also liked to play hockey and softball so could they be any other choice for the NBC team?
(Well, there are, I was trying to do my best Chandler Bing with that last sentence).
Joe Rogan, NewsRadio
Rogan is known today as the color commentator for UFC because Rogan used to be a taekwondo fighter, winning the Massachusetts Full Contact Tae Kwon Do state championship four years in a row as well as the US Open Taekwondo championship in the lightweight division when he was 19.
But after he retired from taekwondo competition, Rogan became a stand-up comedian, which eventually help him win the role of handyman Joe Garrelli on NewsRadio, earning him a spot on this team as he continue to practice martial arts during his run as a TV actor.
Jerry Seinfeld(Captain), Seinfeld
It's fitting that the star of the show about nothing would have no athletic background, but Seinfeld needs to be on the team because his show was probably the most popular show of the '90s.
Plus, he along with Tim Allen, would be a candidate to be the '90s version of Gabe Kaplan.
Tiffiani Amber Theissen, Saved By The Bell
Okay, this choice is purely eye candy as Theissen had no history of participating in sports or dancing in her youth.
But I'm sure Kelly Kapowski could have been put to good use on BOTNS.
Will Smith, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Much like Clooney, it would have been funny to see one of the biggest movie stars of today compete on BOTNS.
While Smith did not have Clooney's athletic background, he did partake in the inaugural editions of MTV's Rock & Jock Celebrity Softball and Basketball Game
Sela Ward, Sisters
Ward was bit of a tomboy growing up in Meridian, Mississippi as she spent her childhood swimming and playing flag football before attending the University of Alabama where she served as a cheerleader during the late '70s before embarking on her acting career which included an Emmy win for Best Actress for her role as alcoholic Teddy Reed on the drama Sisters.
FOX
Christina Applegate, Married With Children
Much like Tiffani Amber Theissen for NBC, Applegate is picked mostly for the eye candy factor, but Christina does have a background in dancing as she studied jazz and ballet dancing when she was a child and danced 15 to 20 hours a week during her off time from her role as Kelly Bundy on Married With Children.
Neve Campbell, Party of Five
Campbell was one of the "it" girls of the '90s as she played the middle child of the Salinger family, Julia, on Party of Five, which helped her land the lead role of Sydney Prescott in Scream.
Anyway, Campbell had a background in ballet dancing, joining the National Ballet School of in Canada at age 9, making appearances in the school's productions of The Nutcracker and Sleeping Beauty, before injuries made her quit at age 15 and move toward a career in acting.
David Duchovny, The X-Files
The truth is out there that Duchovny played high school basketball for the Grace Church School and Collegiate School for Boys, both private schools in Manhattan, then played a year on the Princeton junior varsity team as a shooting guard, and participated in a number of the MTV Rock & Jock celebrity softball games.
Calista Flockhart, Ally McBeal
Flockhart makes the FOX team as she was a cheerleader at Shawnee High School in Medford Township, New Jersey and was an aerobics instructor in the late '80s as a way to pay the bills while she was trying to get her acting career up and running.
Queen Latifah, Living Single
Don't let her size fool you, but the Queen is a great athlete as she was the power forward on the Irvington Public High School girls basketball team in Irvington, New Jersey, helping her team to two state titles plus took karate lessons from her father, making her a natural fit for BOTNS if it had been around in the '90s.
Martin Lawrence, Martin
Lawrence was a boxer during his teen years and was one of the best ameatur boxers until an severe eye injury ended Martin's dreams of being a professional boxer and steered Lawrence toward a career in stand-up comedy which eventually lead to his own sitcom.
Heather Locklear, Melrose Place
Locklear is another star on this list who participated in the original BOTNS, as she competed in five straight battles from October 1982-December 1984, often leaving her competitors in the dust in the running relay.
So it would have been interesting to see if Locklear still had the speed or how she would hang with some younger competitors.
Ed O' Neill(captain), Married With Children
Like his character Al Bundy, O' Neill was a former football player as he went to Ohio University on a football scholarship, only to transfer to Youngstown State where he played defensive lineman which earned him a selection by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the 1969 NFL Draft.
However, O'Neill was released before the season began and eventually went into acting, but kept his appetite for sports as he took up jujitsu while Married With Children was still on the air.
Jason Priestley, Beverly Hills 90210
While his sport of choice is auto racing, Priestley is also an avid hockey player as the Vancouver native has participated in numerous celebrity hockey games, which I think would have helped Jason on BOTNS.
Andrew Shue, Melrose Place
Elisabeth's little brother would have been perfect for BOTNS as Andrew played soccer throughout high school and college, Columbia High School in Maplewood, New Jersey and Dartmouth respectively, before playing professionally in Zimbabwe for the Bulawayo Highlanders for one season.
While he was still playing Billy Campbell on Melrose Place, Shue played for the MLS' Los Angeles Galaxy, earning an assist in five games during the 1996 season.
WB
Jessica Biel, 7th Heaven
While she didn't play basketball like her character Mary Camden on 7th Heaven, Biel was a high school athlete as she grew up playing soccer and idolizing Mia Hamm while also performing gymnastics, making Biel a perfect choice for the WB team.
David Boreanaz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel
Like Biel, Boreanaz is a former high school athlete as he played defensive back for the Malvern Prepartory School football team in Malvern, Pennsylvania, just outisde of Phiadelphia and once had the opportunity to train with former Pittsburgh Steelers hall of fame linebacker Jack Lambert.
Nikki Cox, Unhappily Ever After
Cox is another female star who had a background in ballet dancing as she began taking ballet lessons at the age of four, eventually leading her to dance on tour for the Los Angeles Music Center and as a backup dancer in music videos such as Paula Abdul's "Forever Your Girl".
Jamie Foxx, The Jamie Foxx Show
In between his time as a cast member on In Living Color and being one of the biggest movie stars in Hollywood, Foxx had his own self-titled sitcom which lasted for five seasons(1996-2001) making him eligible for the WB team.
And I'm sure Foxx would been a BOTNS star as he played basketball and football at Terrell High School in Terrell, Texas and was the first quarterback to throw for more than 1,000 yards in the school's history.
Sarah Michelle Gellar, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Gellar played maybe the greatest female asskicker in TV history in Buffy Summers on Buffy the Vampire Slayer which makes her an easy pick for this team.
Gellar was a competitive figure skater before she took up acting, then studied taekwondo when she took the role of Buffy as she tried to get into shape to play the vampire slayer.
This would lead her into taking kickboxing, boxing, and gymnastics so Gellar could have been one of the better athletes if BOTNS had existed in the '90s.
Steve Harvey, The Steve Harvey Show
Just like Martin Lawrence(FOX), Harvey was a boxer before he became a stand-up comedian which lead him to earning his own show which premiered in 1996 and lasted until 2002.
Katie Holmes, Dawson's Creek
Holmes was perfect as the girl next door, Joey Potter, on Dawson's Creek and with her background in dancing, I think she would have been very light on her feet for the obstacle course portion of the BOTNS competition.
Keri Russell, Felicity
Like many of the female stars on this list, Russell's background was not in athletics, but in dancing as her dancing helped her land a spot as a cast member of the Mickey Mouse Club which included members Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling, Christina Aguerlia, and Britney Spears.
Scott Speedman, Felicity
Speedman would have been perfect for BOTNS as he was a member of the swim team at Earl Haig Secondary School, a public high school in Toronto, and even tried out for the Olympics, coming up just short as he finished ninth in the 1992 trials.
A neck injury ended his swimming career, leading Speedman towards his acting career.
James Van Der Beek, Dawson's Creek
Van Der Beek got into acting after suffering a concussion at age 13 while playing football, but I would have wanted to see Dawson on BOTNS as his father played minor league baseball while his mother was a former dancer and gymnastics teacher so it would have interesting to see if those athletic genes were passed on to Van Der Beek.
UPN
James Black, The Burning Zone
Black played the lead agent on a team that was designed to stop biological warfare on The Burning Zone, which lasted only one season, but it is enough for Black to earn a spot on the UPN team as he played tailback for the Akron Zips in the early '80s and rushed for over 3,000 yards in his four-year career and set a then-NCAA record for most runs in a single game as he carried the ball 52 times in a game against Austin Peay.
Rachel Blanchard, Clueless

Blanchard had the very difficult task of filling Alicia Silverstone's shoes as Cher on the TV adaptation of the 1995 movie Clueless.
Anyway, what earns Blanchard a spot on the UPN team is the fact that the Toronto native loved to play hockey in her spare time, making her of the tougher female athletes in this hypothetical BOTNS.
Elisa Donovan, Clueless
While many of the female stars mentioned have a background in dancing, spefically ballet, Donovan was an accomplished salsa dancer before her breakthrough role as Amber, Cher's rival on Clueless.
Donovan would have been very agile not just because of her skills as a salsa dancer, but also for being a gymnast while in high school.
Donald Faison, Clueless
Like Donovan, Faison also repreised his role from the movie Clueless for the TV adapation, playing Stacey Dash's girlfriend in the movie and TV show.
I think Faison would have been a solid competitor as he is an avid basketball player and was a lifeguard in his youth, which means he would have been a good choice for the swimming relay.
Sean Patrick Flanery, The Strip
Flanery is best known for his roles as the younger version of Indiana Jones on The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles in the early '90s and as Connor MacManus in the 2004 film Boondock Saints.
In between those roles Flanery appeared on The Strip, kind of a precursor to NBC's Las Vegas which lasted for only 10 episodes, but enough for Flanery to earn his spot on the UPN team as the former Indiana Jones is an blackbelt in Braziian jiujutsu and even owns his own jiujutsu studio.
Flanery also loves to compete in triathlons, ski, and play football, which means he would have been a stud on BOTNS.
Robin Givens, Sparks
A decade after her heyday when she was a member of the ABC sitcom Head of The Class and married to boxer Mike Tyson, Givens returned to television with the comedy Sparks about a family-owned law practice in Compton, California.
The show lasted for two seasons, but still good enough for me to select Givens as a member of the UPN team, though she did not partake in any sports or dance before her acting career began, so this is another example of someone being picked for "eye candy".
Richard Grieco, Marker
Grieco is best remembered for his role as Detective Dennis Booker on Fox's 21 Jump Street in the late '80s, but Grieco made another venture into television in the drama Marker, which lasted only one season, but still enough for him to be picked for this team.
And Grieco would have been awesome in the BOTNS competition as he was an all-state athlete in football, lacrosse, and hockey while at General Brown High School in Dexter, New York, then went on to Central Connecicut College where he was a fullback and middle linebacker for their football team.
Brandy Norwood, Moesha
UPN did not have many hits, but the sitcom Moesha starring R&B singer Brandy lasted for six seasons from January 1996 until May 2001.
Though she had no background in sports, Brandy did date Kobe Bryant breifly and is friends with the Williams sisters(Venus and Serena)so it would be interesting if she picked up any athletic pointers from them.
Alfonso Riberio, In The House
Following the end of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Riberio joined the cast of In The House, an sitcom which starred LL Cool J.
Riberio gets the nod for the UPN team because of his background in dance as he played the lead in the Broadway musical The Tap Dance Kid, which lead him to becoming a professional tap dancer.
Plus, he danced with Michael Jackson in this 1994 Pepsi commercial.

Jeri Ryan, Star Trek: Voyager
Another "eye candy" selection, Ryan was one of the sexiest actreesses on TV in the late '90s in her role as Seven of Nine, a drone that had been freed from the Borg collective on Star Trek: Voyager.
Ryan would have been a ratings boost to BOTNS with her fan base as Voyager's ratings increased 60% when she joined the show during the fourth season.

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