Thursday, July 13, 2017

If The BOTNS Reboot Had Actual Stars

After watching the first few episodes of the rebooted Battle of the Network Stars, I noticed one major problem: they are not network stars battling each other.
They should have called this reboot Battle of the Network Has Beens as if we have "stars" such as Dave Coulier from Full House and Kim Fields from The Facts of Life.
What made BOTNS so great was that it had some of the biggest stars from the biggest television shows at the time facing off against each other.
So, I have decided to comply a list of teams representing the five major broadcast networks(ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, CW) with stars from the shows on those networks in a hypothetical Battle of the Network Stars that resembles the original show.
Enjoy.
ABC
Anthony Anderson, Blackish and To Tell the Truth(captain)
Anderson made not look like the part of an athlete, but he would be an natural for BOTNS as he has participated three times in the NBA Celebrity All-Star Game during NBA All-Star Weekend and also played in the celebrity flag football game that used to be held the day before the Super Bowl.
Chloe Bennet, Agents of SHIELD
On Agents of SHIELD, Bennet plays "Quake", the Marvel comics character that has the power to generate earthquakes so it would be cool to see if the work Chloe poured in for her role(training in kickboxing, jujitsu, and performing her stunts) would pay off on BOTNS.
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Bowen would be perfect for the running relay as she has been an avid runner since she was 13, participating in cross-country running and track & field in high school.
She still runs today, despite having a pacemaker installed when she was in her early 20s for an irregular heartbeat.
Priyanka Chopra, Quantico
After years of success as a Bollywood actress in India, Chopra has gained notoriety in the United States for her role as FBI agent Alex Parrish in the action show Quantico.
But Chopra would not just be eye candy as she performs her own stunts on the show, so she would have a chance to show off her new athletic prowess on BOTNS.
Chris Harrison, The Bachelor/Bachlorette/Bachelor in Paradise
Harrison attended Oklahoma City University on a soccer scholarship, before transiting his career into broadcasting, but still maintains an athletic spirit as he plays golf and has competed in triathlons.
Jake McLaughlin, Quantico
Though he never played any sports, McLaughlin would be one of the more intriguing competitors because he served in the US Army for four years in Iraq before beginning his acting career in 2007.
Maggie Q, Designated Survivor
Miss Maggie would be the best female, if not the best overall athlete, on the ABC team as she is a former action star with roles in Mission: Impossible III and Live Free or Die Hard as well as the leading role in the CW series Nikita, where she performed her own stunts before landing the role of a secret service agent on Designated Survivor.
Plus, Maggie participated in track & field, cross-country running, and swimming when she was a student at Miliani High School in Honolulu.
Henry Simmons, Agents of SHIELD
Simmons attended Franklin Pierce College in New Hampshire on a basketball scholarship in the early 1990s and has maintained his great physique in his role as "Mack" on Agents of SHIELD.
Kerry Washington, Scandal
Much like her character Olivia Pope, Washington is an avid swimmer as she was a member of her high school's swim team, which would make her an easy pick for the swimming portion of the competition.
Jesse Williams, Grey's Anatomy
Much like Anderson, Williams has participated in several the NBA Celebrity All-Star Game three times as well as made an appearance in the 2011 Celebrity Softball Legends and Celebrity Game during the MLB All-Star break, so Dr. Jackson Avery would probably jump out at the chance to compete in BOTNS.
CBS
LL Cool J(captain), NCIS: Los Angeles
Ladies still love Cool James as the former rapper shows no signs of slowing down even though he approaches the age of 50 as he used his training in mixed martial arts(MMA) to take down a burglar in his home a few years back.
Lucas Black, NCIS: New Orleans
While at Speake High School in Speake, Alabama, Black played four sports(football, basketball, baseball, golf) and used those athletic skills for his role as quarterback Mike Winchell in the movie Friday Night Lights as well as former Dodgers shortstop Pee Wee Reese in the Jackie Robinson biopic 42.
Scott Caan, Hawaii Five-O
"Danno" and son of legend James Caan, Scott is an avid surfer and holds a black belt in Brazilian jujitsu which would make him perfect for BOTNS.
Kaley Cuoco, The Big Bang Theory
Before she became a full-time actress, Cuoco was a nationally ranked amateur tennis player at the ripe age of 16.
She has maintained her entuanism for tennis, competing in several celebrity tennis tournaments, and even marrying a tennis player, Ryan Sweeting, though that marriage ended in divorce.
Hunter King, Life in Pieces
King is a newcomer to primetime TV as she joined the cast of Life in Pieces last season after four years on the daytime soap opera The Young and The Restless.
But King would be perfect for BOTNS as she competed in gymnastics as a kid and was a cheerleader when she was in high school.
Lucy Liu, Elementary
While she broke out in the late '90s with her role on Ally McBeal that helped land her a spot in the Charlie's Angels  movies, Miss Liu could still kick some ass if she competed on BOTNS, thanks to her skills in the martial art of Kali-Eskrima-Salt, or knife-and-stick fighting, and her ability to ski and rock-climb to keep her nearly 50-year-old body(she's 48 now) in tip-top shape.
Katherine McPhee, Scorpion
The American Idol alum has no background of any sports, but she is an huge fan of the San Francisco 49ers, so maybe that could translate into being an asset in the 3-on-3 football competition.
But no matter what, BOTNS viewers would be battling a case of "McPheever".
Jonny Lee Miller, Elementary
The American TV version of Sherlock Holmes, Miller would be CBS' best runner in the running relay as he runs a half-marathon two times a week and competed in the 2008 London Marathon, where he clocked in a time of 3:01:40(three hours, one minute, and 40 seconds).
Bridget Moynahan, Blue Bloods
Moynahan would be one of the better female athletes in the competition and not because she had Tom Brady's child, but because of her experience at Longmeadow High School in Massachusetts, where she was so good as a athlete that she was the captain of the girls' basketball, lacrosse, and soccer teams.
Lucas Till, MacGyver
Did some of you even know they rebooted MacGyver? Well, apparently they have with Mr. Till now playing the famous character who can make a bomb out of a paper clip.
Anyway, I think Till seems like a BOTNS natural as he performs many of his own stunts on MacGyver and spent his four years in high school taking Braziian jujitsu lessons.
NBC
Jaimie Alexander, Blindspot
Alexander would compete with Maggie Q of ABC as the toughest female competitor as the Blindspot star was a member of her high school wrestling team and played the warrior Lady Sif in the first two Thor movies.
Plus, she rides a motorcycle if that accounts for anything.
Kristin Bell, The Good Place
Still Veronica Mars to most people,  Bell was a tomboy growing up as she played on an all boys baseball team for two years and broke both her wrists while playing street hockey when she was 12.
Megan Boone, The Blacklist
Boone is another TV star who has performs her own stunts, as she plays the role of FBI agent Elizabeth Keen on the hit show The Blacklist, and has gotten back in shape after giving birth to her daughter, Caroline, in April of 2016.
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU
While she may be in her early 50s, I wouldn't dismiss Hargitay's athletic skills as she been an avid swimmer her entire life, learning to swim at age two and then swimming for high school's swimming team at Marymount High School, across the street from UCLA. and wouldn't be afraid to put her body on the line as she did almost her own stunts until suffering a partially collapsed lung in 2009.
And yes, she continues to swim, even with dolphins.
Justin Hartley, This is Us
The man who played Green Arrow on Smallville, Hartley was a versatile athlete at Carl Sundberg High School outside of Chicago as he played basketball, baseball, and soccer, and is said to still be an avid basketball player.
Taylor Kinney, Chicago Fire
Though he didn't play any sports when he was a kid, Kinney says "he can't sit still" so he likes to run, surf, ride a bike, or go to the gym to keep in shape as he role as Chicago firefighter.
Jennifer Lopez, Shades of Blue(captain)
The former "Fly Girl" from In Living Color looks maybe better than ever at she approaches her 48th birthday.
In addition to her background in dancing, J. Lo loved playing sports as a kid, playing softball, tennis, learning gymnastics, and running track, even competing on a national level for track & field.
Eoin Macken, The Night Shift
The Irishman who plays Dr. TC Callahan on the summer medical drama might be the versatile athlete of all the celebrities mentioned in this article as he loves to play soccer and golf as well as track & field, plus enjoys climbing, kick-boxing, surfing, sailing, and horseback riding.
Jon Seda, Chicago PD
Before getting into acting, Seda was a boxer in New Jersey, compling a 21-1 record and finishing second in the 1990 New Jersey Golden Gloves competition.
His first acting role was a boxer in the 1992 movie Gladiator(not the one with Russell Crowe).
Brian Tee, Chicago Med
Dr. Ethan Choi was captain of his high school football team during his time at Glen A. Wilson High School in Hacienda Heights, California, which is about 20 miles outside of Los Angeles.
FOX
Carmen Bicondova, Gotham
Bicondova is an interesting choice since she is only 18, making her the youngest possible competitor, but the original BOTNS had several teen stars participate over the years like Kristy McNichol, Scott Baio, and Melissa Gilbert.
Plus, Bicondova is a strong dancer, taking dance lessons at the age of 6 which lead her to being a member of an all-female dance team called "8 Flavhaz" which finished 2nd during the 2012 season of MTV's America's Best Dance Crew.
Lesley-Ann Brandt, Lucifer
Brandt grew up in South Africa playing field hockey and is said to enjoy yoga, baseball, and hockey.
Jordana Brewster, Lethal Weapon
Though the former Fast and Furious star has no background of playing sports or dancing prior to her acting career, I would still like to see Brewster, who plays the psychiatrist Maureen Cahill in Lethal Weapon, on BOTNS as she stays in shape by working out in the gym three times a week and also likes to run and hike.
Terry Crews, Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Captain)
Crews would join the likes of Mark Harmon and Michael Warren as former college athletes-turned-actors to participate in BOTNS as Crews was an defensive end for the Western Michigan Broncos, earning all-conference honors in helping the Broncos win the 1988 Mid-American Conference Championship.
Crews was able to make it to the National Football League where he played 32 games for three different teams(Los Angeles Rams, San Diego Chargers, and Philadelphia Eagles) before pursuing a career in acting.
Clayne Crawford, Lethal Weapon
The Martin Riggs of the TV reboot of the Lethal Weapon franchise, Crawford is another former high school athlete as he was a member of the football and wrestling squads at Hewitt-Trussville High School in Clay, Alabama.
Jude Demorset, Star
Having been a backup dancer in several music videos, Demorset was perfect for the part of Star Davis, the leader of an all female music group on the new show Star.
But could those dancing skills translate to a strong performance on BOTNS? It would be interesting to see.
Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth
The Saturday Night Live alum is actually quite an athlete as he was a member of the varsity football and swim teams at Aclanes High School in California and is said to be an avid volleyball player and runner.
Tajari P. Henson, Empire
Henson has no background in sports, but it would just be cool to see if Henson would channel her character, Cookie from Empire, if her team went down in a defeat.
Ben McKenzie, Gotham
McKenzie would be a stud in the 3-on-3 football competition as he played wide receiver and defensive back for Stephen F. Austin High School in Austin, Texas and was a teammate of New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees on the St. Andrew's Episcopal School flag football team.
Gordon Ramsey, Hell's Kitchen, Masterchef, The F Word
If he participated, Ramsay would be the Robert Conrad of this BOTNS, with his famous temper and fiery language.
While that would be entertaining, Ramsay would not just be a sideshow as he was in the youth system(or developmental system) for the Glasgow Rangers football(soccer) club for three years before getting injured, but maintains his hunger(no pun intended) for sports by competing in triathlons, including the famous Ironman triathlon in 2013 and obtaining a blackbelt in martial arts.
CW
Jensen Ackles, Supernatural
Before becoming an actor, Ackles was a sports junkie as he played on the baseball and lacrosse teams at LV Berkner High School  just outside of Dallas, Texas and is a huge Dallas Cowboys fan as well as a fan of basketball.
Stephen Amell, Arrow(captain)
While he did not play sports in the past, Amell could be the celebrity with the toughest stamina in this hypothetical competition as the Arrow actor has actually wrestled in a WWE match and just recently competed in a celebrity edition of NBC's American Ninja Warrior.
Marie Avgeropous, The 100
Avgeropous loves extreme sports as she snowboarded and rode dirt bikes as a kid, then become an avid fan of parkour while filming the movie Tracers, which has something to do with parkour.
Plus, she performs all her own stunts as Octavia Blake on the post-apocalyptic show, The 100.
Melissa Benoist, Supergirl
While her background is more musical than athletic as Benoist spent most of the early stages in her career in theater musicals and appeared in the show Glee, it would still be cool to see Supergirl on Battle of the Network Stars, just like we saw Lynda Carter(Wonder Woman)appear on the very first BOTNS.
Mehcad Brooks, Supergirl
Brooks has good athletic genes as he is the son of former Oklahoma wide receiver Billy Brooks, helping the Sooners to back-to-back national championships in 1974 + 75.
While Mehcad did play football at L.C. Anderson High School in Austin, Texas, he shined at basketball as he earned all-state honors and turned down several basketball scholarships to pursue a a career in acting.
Katie Cassidy, Arrow
The daughter of David Cassidy, Katie was such an avid cheerleader in high school that she became on the California Flyers, a competitive cheerleading team.
Cassidy also took gymnastics lessons as a kid and trained in martial arts and kickboxing for a multi-episode arc on Supernatural that helped lead her to get the role of the Black Canary on Arrow.
Grant Gustin, The Flash
Just like Benoist, Gustin has a background in musical theater as he's been a tap dancer since he was 8 and also appeared on the show Glee.
It would be interesting to see how his tap dancing skills would translate to the sports on BOTNS.
Caity Lotz, Legends of Tomorrow
Much like Avgeropous, Lotz performs her own stunts in her role as the White Canary on Legends of Tomorrow and was a backup dancer in music videos for Lady Gaga and Selena Gomez among others.
She also is a martial arts enthusiast as she practices taekwondo as well as wushu and used to be(still might be)roommates with Katie Cassidy.
Gina Rodriguez, Jane The Virgin
Much like Benoist and Gustin, Rodriguez has a musical background rather than an athletic background as she was a salsa dancer from age 7 to age 17.
Brandon Routh, Legends of Tomorrow
Routh is very enthusiastic about playing sports as he grew up playing baseball, basketball, soccer and swimming during his youth in the state of Iowa.
Plus, he played Superman in the 2006 movie Superman Returns, so you know he's in great shape.

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